Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Last week was parent-teacher conferences. Madness attends an arts charter school where they have "student led" conferences, pretty much self-explanatory.

On the way home from a semi-successful student-led parent-teacher conference*, we spotted some "back yard" or "city" chickens working their way across the street, foraging for...asphalt?

Madness says "Huh, no wonder those chicken crossing the road jokes are so popular. People see chickens cross the road and just want to make a joke about it."

I chuckled and clucked all the way home.

*Not to worry, grandparents and other interested parties. Madness is passing 2nd grade. Apparently, he scored off the charts on the beginning-of-year standardized tests, like...way off the charts. Like highest scores in his class "off the charts."

However, lest you offer applause and congratulatory comments too quickly...It was brought to my attention, again, by both Madness and Mrs. B. that he is lacking in...motivation to complete daily work.

As an example, last week Madness spent every reading class hour staring off into space or chatting with his neighbor (who will remain anonymous for his own protection) about Skylanders and Halo Megablocks.

(Note to self: I wonder if I can convince Mrs. B. to come up with a Skylanders curriculum?)

On a scale of 1 - 4, 4 being excellent, Madness scored a 2 in "refraining from talking when inappropriate" and "completes in-class assignments in a timely manner." Remind you of anyone?

Side note - he is doing excellent in piano. (Another perk of an arts charter school - piano lessons twice a week.)

And now you know why the chickens crossed the road. They like gravel.

Un-hallowed Halloween

Their "I'm a serious Quidditch player" faces.

Another Halloween came and went and I would like to tell you we conquered it. But sadly it conquered us. (Or just me.)

I would like to tell you we ruled the night like monsters at a ball and all that, but...no. That didn't happen.

What did happen...

My two small-but-aggressive Quidditch players trampled around the neighborhood with the next door neighbor's kids whooping and hollering "Trick or Treat!" and basking in the glow of Halloween trickery and treatery.

Also, they made a stinkin' huge haul of candy. Candy that will mysteriously disappear before they can go on a massive sugar binge or develop 5 cavities.

Hubby & I trailed along behind walking with the neighbors, enjoying the gorgeous night (a rarity on Halloween night in Idaho) visiting about our holiday plans and watching for speeding cars. Well, that's what Hubby & the neighbors were doing. I was doing something else entirely.

I was, not by choice of course, brewing a nasty little fever that pretty much took over my mental faculties. Thankfully, we began our trek home just a few blocks away. But, it took FOR-EV-ER! I'm pretty sure I was delirious by the time we made it to our front porch. I did make it.

We gave Madness & Mayhem each 2 treats from their bag and then put them to bed. Hey, Hubby & I both start work at 6 am. Work waits for no Halloween frolicking.

We were in our jammies and in bed by 9 pm. At 9:30, with all the external lights off, someone pounded on the front door. Yay! Halloween! Hubby bolted out of bed to investigate. Me? I just laid there shivering under my electric blanket, enjoying my fever.

They kept pounding! And finally Hubby answered the door. "Trick or Treat!" came a post-puberty young male voice. Hubby said "Dude, we're out. And we were trying to sleep. And the lights are all off."

The PARENTS standing with a small cluster of kids, in front of our yard, were overheard saying "Hey, someone just answered the door!" Seriously? Are you kidding me? Yes, parents...as in big people, responsible adults, contributing citizens. Take your pick.

Hubby caught sight of the "parents" and yelled something to the effect of "Come on!" (I'm paraphrasing.) He snapped the lights back off, shut the door, and came to bed.

I continued my fever.

And that was our 2012 Halloween!

Mochilas And Chonies

You have been reading way too much Skippy Jon Jones to your kiddos when your 3 year old asks...

Mayhem: Mom! Where is my mochila?

And you automatically answer...

Mistress: In your closet!

And your 8 year old yells...

Madness: Mom! Where are my chonies?

And you respond...

Mistress: In your dresser!


Apparently, my boys are embracing a new language, which is great...but only if we all can speak it. Guess I'll be investing in Skippy Jon Jones on CD for Hubby to listen to on the way to work. So he can communicate with the rest of us.

I wonder if I can teach them all Klingon?

(FYI: Mochila - back pack, Chonies - little boy underpants. And now you know!)

Does your family have any quirky, zany or funky words or alternate names for stuff? I'd love to read about them in the comments section or over at Facebook!