Madness: Did you know that Daddy, Uncle Scott and Papa Dale ALL have the same beard?
Me: Not possible.
Madness: It's true!
Me: They would have to share a face. It would defy the currently held laws of physics.
Madness: Oh, you know what I mean. They all look exactly alike. All the beards I mean.
Me: Um, yes.
Madness: Well, they are all really hairy. And I have really hairy legs. Go ahead, feel them.
Me: Are you trying to grow a beard? (An attempt to avoid touching the hairy legs.)
Madness: NO!...Not yet.
Me: I see. You come by your hairy legs naturally. Daddy, Uncle Scott, Uncle Justin and Uncle A.J. all have really hairy legs. Like Sasquatch hairy. You are destined for hairiness my friend.
Madness: Oh sheesh. Well, someday I will grow a beard. Just. Like. Dad's. Hey, how hairy are your legs?
Me: Alrighty then. What do you want for breakfast?
My conclusion: Madness wants a beard. But he doesn't want to be hairy. Hmm. I wonder if he knows he is related to Sasquatch? (Sorry, babe. But you know I am not referring to me.)